Pretty and Witty

lesbianathogwarts:

neyruto:

april fools day is the perfect day to confess your undying love for someone if they dont feel the same you can just yell “trolled u” and run away whooping and hollering so no one can see the gentle tears on your face 

that post got very sad very fast

xplosivediarrhea:

imagine how much power you’d have if you woke up with a clear face and perfect hair every day

rneatbicycle:

that’s what little girls are made of

rneatbicycle:

that’s what little girls are made of

bewbin:

i win 

bewbin:

i win 

cumber-bitches:

wibblywobblyrandomyfandomystuff:

watchtheskytonight:

thewholockgames:

dean-the-hug-monster:

I have a panic disorder. While having an attack one day, I called my boyfirend because I was scared. He hung up the phone as soon as I said that and was over in no time to comfort me.

He doesn’t have a car.

He lives 10 miles away.

He ran.

MARRY HIM

DING DONG THOSE ARE FUCKING WEDDING BELLS IN THE DISTANCE 

ILL PLAN THE WEDDING

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counterpunches:

hetagarnet:

qichi:

linguisticsyall:

Where does your tongue stay when you’re not speaking? If you’re an English-speaker, it’s behind the top front teeth. If you’re a Russian-speaker, it’s on the bottom of your mouth, lying flat.

#what #for real

I JUST FREAKING CONSCIOUSLY CHECKED AND TRIED TO MAKE IT LAY FLAT BUT NO, IT’S SERIOUSLY AT THE TOP OF MY MOUTH. I DON’T LIKE THIS

 

megamintcat:

ryansealcrest:

does it come with butter pillows

is anyone reading that description 

megamintcat:

ryansealcrest:

does it come with butter pillows

is anyone reading that description 

embarrassmental:

narcotic:

what if people named their kids when they turn 18 so the kid has a name that fits its personality

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guy:

guy:

if u shave the eyebrows off a human, it will have no eyebrows. if u shave the eyebrows off a dog, it will have balded eyebrows.

follow for more animal facts

tankenabard:

kmckayhi:

Corny jokes will be the death of me

"And they’d both like to give you some feedback"

tankenabard:

kmckayhi:

Corny jokes will be the death of me

"And they’d both like to give you some feedback"

randomingoftherandomness:

shubbabang:

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i dedicate this comic to the teacher who pulled me out of class in middle school to tell me my bra strap was showing and that i needed to get a jacket to cover it up so that i didnt distract the boys

dedicated to all teachers, school administrators, parents, dudes, dudettes, random ass strangers, politicians and dogs who think that is a woman’s duty to ensure that men aren’t ‘distracted’